Champions

His rich, buttery voice that once brought Americans the latest happenings in Vietnam was soft, with varying gaps of time as his mind pulled just the right words off the shelf. The speed of the conversation was quite different than the ones we had during my four years of undergrad at Ball State.

"Thank you isn't even enough. I'm overwhelmed with gratitude. This is better than winning an Emmy."

This man is a legend. Ted Koppel is one of his dearest friends. But to me and my (now) husband and hundreds of other amazingly-fortunate kids he was, and forever will be, Mr. Bell.

After receiving the 2017 Indiana Broadcasters Association Lifetime Achievement Award, word spread. So, a few dozen former students took to their notepads and keypads and iPads, and let this Champion know how far-reaching that achievement really went. Together, we compiled a simple book of heartfelt gratitude for a man who so generously poured in to each of our lives.

"I really don't have the words to express how important this is to me, but can I get a copy for each of my Grandkids?"

Everyone has Champions in their lives. Who are yours?

Are they older? Younger? Relatives? Co-workers? People you see daily or interacted with only once? Who are the people that placed a seed, or watered it, or pruned the vine from which you were growing? Do they know they played that part? Have you told them?

Words are so powerful. I challenge you to tell one of your Champions just how they've blessed your life. Let them know how the interaction you had with them changed the trajectory of... your family, your career, your lifetime habits. No one ever tires of hearing these things. There's nothing more powerful than to see where you've made an indent on this world. Be sure your Champions know who they are.

Not ironically, I recently found this sweet letter in our 6-year-old's backpack, addressed to the Dad who coached his fall baseball team.

"Dear Coach Clark, 
I think that you were a great baseball coach for Tomahawks baseball, and I that that you will be a great baseball coach this year.
Love, Jack Grove"

I challenge you: Tell one of your Champions what they mean to you today.

Are you ready?

When you waddle around in life 37.5 weeks pregnant, you BEG to be asked that one loaded question, "Are you ready?" It is asked of me multiple times a day, every.single.day. I know that people are being cordial and conversational, but I've run out of interesting responses.

Top three:
"...I think so..."
"...we'll find out..."
and,
"...not really."

But today in the shower, I really started thinking about it. I mean, if all goes as planned, this is Grand Finale Grove. I will never (Lord-willing) never carry life within me again. (My cup overfloweth!) So, I'm rethinking my various answers to that oh-so-loaded question:

Are you ready...

...to no longer carry an additionally 40lbs around? HECK YES! Just ask my feet.

...to never again feel that indescribable feeling of life moving within me? No. It's quite possibly the coolest experience ever.

...to see The Boy and The Girl walk into the hospital room to meet their new sibling? No, not at all. They'll immediately both look 75% bigger, and 3 years older, and I just can't handle that.

... to have more than 6 wardrobe items that I fit in to? Yes, yes, yes. I simply cannot find one more way to accessorize and make them look different. I'm so bored with my options, and too cheap to do anything about it.

... to not fit into anything properly for the next 6 months? No, ugh. Talk about depressing. Maternity clothes are too big. Normal clothes are abnormally small. Bring on the yoga pants... and the treadmill.

...to no longer have an excuse for eating crap-ola beyond any reasonable hour? No, I'm going to miss the special time spent in the evenings with The Hubby, Ken Burns, and some Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Seriously, there's no reasonable excuse for eating that stuff at any other time in my life.

...to not get up and potty fives times a night? Oh yes, I cannot wait to sleep through the night again... oh wait...

...to get up fives times a night to nurse a baby/change a diaper/make sure my child hasn't died of SIDS? No. No. No, not at all.

... to find out if it's a boy or a girl? I'm pumped, but not nearly as pumped as I thought I'd be. I really have no preference one way or the other. I just want to have a healthy baby and simple delivery. I think the not knowing will just be a huge motivating factor when it comes time to push.

... to juggle life with three kids? Not at all ready. I'm OCD. I plan. I like a clean house. None of these things goes along with a newborn, a 2.5 year old and a 5 year old. Praying for lots of Grace!

... to sleep on my stomach again? YES. Oh I cannot WAIT to sleep on my stomach again. I'm pretty sure The Hubby can't wait either... I've been accused of snoring for the first time in 8 years of wedded bliss. How dare he!

...to hold the third piece of worldy evidence of how much The Hubby and I love each other? YES! I cannot wait! Who will he/she look like? Will they have lots of hair? What will their personality be like?

So, Am I ready?

I say, bring it on! This is life. We'll roll with it. We'll figure it out. We'll fail. We'll succeed. We'll survive. We'll thrive. We'll be Carried Along. We'll be exhausted. We'll sleep when we're dead.

12 days.

58: The Film

All I wanted was a simple cake idea. Our Little Buddy is turning two, and I want to incorporate a firetruck into his homemade cake. Where to get quick ideas? Pinterest. Oh. My. Word. Don't get me wrong, I love Pinterest, but my perspective has changed a bit.

It happened on Tuesday.

I love a good documentary. Something well thought. Something low budget. Something with heart and a purpose.

Tuesday night our small group got together and watched "58: The Film" and my world was rocked. (Bonus: It's on Netflix.) We popped popcorn, made cupcakes and poured our delicious drinks-- and within the first 10 minutes no one had an appetite.

"58: The Film" is about a movement to end extreme poverty around the globe, through authentic Christian living, based on Isaiah 58.

In this 72 minute film you see families who live in rock quarries... working to pay a debt that's impossible to repay. You see families of eight who live in shanties... the size of my walk-in closet. You see little girls sold into sex trafficking... so their families can afford to eat.

What I can't understand is that while some kids are left to work in a quarry for the rest of their lives because of their parents desire to put food on the table, we are busy throwing birthday parties for 8-year-olds that cost as much as a mortgage payment! (C'mon, they invited 38 kids!!!)

We (Christians) are so wrapped up in who should be allowed to get married, what gender should be preaching from the pulpit and who has the right to carry weapons, that we've forgotten our mission on this earth. We're distracted.

Point for Satan.

Suddenly, my closet is annoying. My pantry is annoying. The fact that my kids DON'T share a room is annoying. I'm disgusted at my own oblivion.

Point for Jesus.

A few weeks ago I heard an evangelist talk about Western Christians being "spiritually obese." We go to church and feast... we go to Bible Study and feast... we hang out with our Christian friends and feast... but at what point are we going out and exercising our beliefs. How and when are we being the hands and feet of Jesus?

I'm guilty, friends. I'm so, so pathetically guilty. But I'm admitting it, which is the first step towards change.

Ending extreme poverty is not impossible. Changing lives from our small-town Indiana homes is not impossible.

And a simple 9x13 boxed cake mix will be more than enough to celebrate 2 years of God-given JOY.

Perspective

I love birthdays! I love cake... presents... surprises... endless FB love... singing... decor... gathering of friends and family... you know, all the things a good b-day entails!

This morning I started a new b-day ritual. I ran 3.1 miles. (Get it? 3.1 because I'm 31...) It was awesome. I'm still out of shape, but I did it. 400 calories- POOF- gone! (I'm thinking this ritual will be more impressive when I'm 65 and running 6.5 miles, no?)

About 20 minutes into this endeavor, two 70-somethings came in (wearing their jeans?) and hopped on the treadmills on either side of me. And, as I redirected my selfish thoughts ("I'm so much faster than them! Look at me go!"), it occurred to me that they're more than twice my age... and still working out. Instantly, I loved these ladies.

And, since I still had another 20 minutes of pain running, my mind began to wonder...

10 years ago I celebrated my 21st Birthday. On the one hand, that seems like an eternity ago, and on the other it seems like just yesterday. Either way, I cringe when I think about it. Some of my still very precious friends and I headed to a few of the local establishments (lots of options, thanks to Purdue), and we. got. loaded. There was a book for signatures after drinks... which were being served by the pitcher-full. There was a piano bar. There was dancing. There was fun and laughter. But, oh my word, there was more alcohol than I care to reflect upon. (This is not a judgement upon those who love this lifestyle. I'm just saying, it's not a good fit for me.)

This morning, my almost two-year-old, and my 4.5-year-old sang "Happy Birthday" to me with their Dad. (I might have asked them to stop, grabbed my video recorder, and had them start again.) It was precious. (By the way, who added the "cha-cha-cha" stuff? My kids think it's a riot.) We were all in our jammies, possibly on day 2 without a shower, eating oatmeal and laughing at D someone who toots a lot. Cherish.

My hubby, after a loooooooong night of work, was thoughtful enough to stop and get flowers, a balloon and a card, which I saw on the kitchen table when I woke up this morning. It could have been a bag of M&M's or even a bowl of pre-poured cereal-- the fact is, he remembered and inconvenienced himself to show me even more love than he usually does. (A year ago, he did this for me on my b-day.)

In 10 more years, I will be 41. HOLY SMOKES! God-willing, I will have a 14-year-old, 12-year-old and who knows how many (if any) other kids! My parents will be in their '70s!!! THEY will be the old people on the treadmills!

Woah. Now there's a new perspective.

Running for HER life

I've said it once, and I'll say it again: I'm a wanna-be runner. I look a fool when I run. I feel like I could die due to a lack of oxygen. I begrudgingly strap on my shoes and dream up any excuse I can to get out of it. I am not a runner, and though my Dad won a state championship that involved running while he was in high school, those genes skipped my body.

Luckily, for me, The Hubby is a runner. To him, it's a stress reliever. And, his "hobby running" is straight up motivation for my two-kids-have-been-carried-full-term-on-these-hips figure.

I ran my first half marathon when The Girl was 9 months old. I sort-of trained. My second half-marathon... well, I had no business running that one. I think I ran about 10 miles total in "training." My third half-marathon was fun. I did it with my sister. Enough said.

A few months ago some friends and I were talking about running a half-marathon together. We decided on the first-ever Purdue Half Marathon and then discovered an organization called As Our Own. In a nutshell, they rescue little girls born to women working in brothels in India... and raise them "as their own." We worked to get the Purdue Half Marathon on the list of sponsor races this year for As Our Own, and it now is! WOOT WOOT! And, we just met our girl.

We're running for Neelu.

"Neelu is 15 years old and is in the 9th grade. She has a knack for keeping things neat and organized. Neelu loves to spend time with her sisters. Here tender heart is hungry to know God through worship and the Bible, and she would like to attend seminary for a future in serving others. She is passionate to go wherever God leads her!

Once a child is rescued into our family, she becomes an irreplaceable member. She is not up for adoption, because she has a permanent place of belonging, right here with us. She's ours to love, nurture, teach, and enjoy. For life."


Neelu is a real girl. She is living a life that I cannot fathom right now, and I certainly couldn't have imagined when I was her age... headed into my freshman year at Harrison High School in West Lafayette.

I am still a wanna-be. I still look funny when I run. I still can't breathe, and I still run a 12 minute mile. But I no longer do it for me. It's not about my figure, my weight, or fitting into my "skinny jeans." Every time I put on my shoes, I think of a sweet girl on the other side of the world who needs to escape her current reality. I think of Neelu, a 15-year-old girl, whom I will likely never meet while on this earth.

She is real. I'm running for HER life.

Will you support Team Indianapolis? https://iwillrun.myetap.org/fundraiser/teamindianapolis/

Birthday Banner

There's a birthday coming, and with it comes my incessant need to create a tradition. I know. That's the dumbest thing ever. But it's true. With every event, or holiday, or moment, I find myself losing sleep over how to either a) capture the "moment" or b) to be able to recreate it. And, lets be honest, the best, most long-standing traditions are not ones that have been conjured up in someones head, or read on someones Pinterest board. They're sudden, spur-of-the-moment, not-intended-to-be-sacred, pauses in time. (Like my family's tradition to watch the very wholesome, family movie "Christmas Vacation" on the eve of the birth of our Savior every year. Don't judge.)

Anywho, as I was perusing FB a few months ago, I saw a photo of a girlfriend's daughter on her b-day, sitting in her highchair with a subtly decorated kitchen in the background. This stuck out to me because said girlfriend was preparing for the big b-day shindig... which was to be over the upcoming weekend. And then I realized, she decorated her kitchen (nothing over-the-top) for THE birthday. The actual day this precious girl left the womb was being celebrated by her Mama, her Daddy and her little sister. Oh yes, the party was to follow, but they didn't miss The Day.

Duh.

It sounds so simple. It is so simple. But I've missed it. Don't get me wrong, we have b-day morning photos, and make a huge deal out of the entire day that the b-day party is taking place, but the D-A-T-E has been overlooked. Drat.

And then came the light bulb!

As I looked back through old photos of The Girl, I realized I have a great "cake" photo of her from all 3 previous birthdays. What fun! A birthday banner!

Each year, I'm going to take that sacred "cake photo" and add it on to this simple, I'm-not-a-scrapbooker banner. And, just to kick it up a notch, a few things will be included on the backside: How we celebrated; What she asked for; and Her own signature (or an outline of her hand if she's too young to write.)

This is a great, simple way for me to catch a moment, without having to maintain a scrapbook. It will also store easily, and make for great decorations (and conversation starters?) in years to follow. To make it extra-suspenseful, I'm going to bring out each "pendant" that many days before her birthday each year. (ie. 3 days before her b-day I'll hang up her 3rd Birthday Pendant, and so on...)

Time to go and make #1 for The Boy.

940 Saturdays

Friday night in my most-recent Readers Digest, I read this:

940: The number of Saturdays between the day your child is born and the time he or she turns 18. The phrase might serve as a reminder to cherish the time you have with your child and use it wisely.
-From No Regrets Parenting by Harley Rotbart, MD

Wow. Only 940? That doesn't seem like many!

When we got pregnant with The Boy, The Hubby started a Saturday morning tradition with The Girl in which the two of them went on a doughnut expedition. Each Saturday, they'd wake up and ditch me to go and find the most wonderful of puffy, filled, iced confections. Not only did I get an hour or so to myself, but they got their much needed one-on-one time and most of the time they remembered to bring me one, too ;) In the end it was a win for all parties involved.

Now, it's a family affair. Most Saturdays, no matter what city we're in, we get up, get dressed, and let the hunt begin.

I did some math after reading this statistic (don't worry, I used a calculator) and discovered that we only have 732 Saturdays left with The Girl. WHAT? How is that even possible? In four short years we've whittled away more than 200! (Hold in the tears. Hold in the tears. Hold in the tears.)

Immediately, I was convicted (once again) of my selfishness. Just that morning, The Hubby had been invited by my FIL to go play a round of golf. SELFISHLY, I wanted to cross my arms, stop my foot and say, "I've been here with these yahoos all week... the three of us REALLY need you here... for our sanity... and you want to go be away from us for 4.5 hours of swinging a stick with your Dad?"

And then it hit me.

"... with your Dad."

You see, the thing is, even though they've already had their 940 Saturdays, I had the opportunity to allow them both #941 or #1265, or #1560. It wasn't about "leaving us." It was about time away, not working, to unwind, exercise, laugh and talk ... with his Dad.

So ... what are you doing with the 940 "Saturdays" you've got with your kids? Are you making memories? Are you doing chores as a family? Are you realizing there are only 52/year? (Lets not get all legalistic here, your "Saturday" might very well be Thursday, or Monday, or whatever day works into your family schedule!)

The point is will your son or daughter one day want to come back to your home and continue to have that special one-on-one time? Will they crave the warm feeling in their heart when they think of the fun, silly, spontaneous, ritual, SACRED things you did together at least once a week? Will they want to build those moments into their family life someday?

I hope so... for both your kids and mine.

Embrace The Pace

So as I was running last week, I realized that the motto of the town we're currently living in is "Embrace the pace."

This is not a coincidence.

Then, I started to look around. Everyone really does "embrace the pace." (Did you know that was possible?) Maybe it's summer... maybe it's the average age of town residents... or maybe it's just small-town Indiana... but whatever it is, it's therapeutic.

Anywho, you know you're Embracing The Pace when you find horse and buggy parking at your favorite hometown grocer...

And anyone who has time to shingle their mailbox is certainly Embracing The Pace...

My Father-In-Law, henceforth known as FIL, delicately Embraces The Pace as he gives his grand kids "tractor rides"...

And I have found that the world's most gigantic playpen will allow me to Embrace all sorts of Paces this summer as The Boy is trapped in one location *insert evil laugh*...

I don't know if it's a Pace that we're Embracing as MIL and FIL do this gigantic addition on their house (aka Temporary Dwelling #1), but we're certainly enjoying watching the daily progress...

And, how can you not Embrace The Pace as you watch your laundry spin in the sun?

Life is good. I'm Embracing The Pace.

It is finished

It's hard to believe we've been living in our new digs more than a week already, and yet at the same time, it's hard to believe its only been a week. Youknowwhatimean?

Anyway, the move was quite eventful...

At first we were being cute and silly

Nothing like some Martin's doughnuts to energize you on moving day!

Then, The Hubby pulled in with the BIG truck.

(FYI- It did not have the air-brakes he was hoping for.)

At this point, the piano movers hadn't showed up, so there was still time for cute photos.

Fast forward about four hours. So many of our dear small group friends showed up and we unloaded the house in nothing flat! Unfortunately, we loaded the truck in nothing flat and realized we'd have to make two trips to West Lafayette. That wasn't on the weekend agenda, but we were thankful for unlimited mileage!

So, with tired kids ready to sleep their way to Memaw's, I took off in our fully-loaded van (not fully loaded as in DVD players and automatic doors... think over sized framed art). I was about 7 minutes into the 2+hour drive when Hubby called.

Hubby: The truck is stuck in the driveway.
Me: That's so funny. What did you really call about?
Hubby: I'm not joking. I can't go forward or backwards. It's wedged in.
Me: So..... what are we going to do?
Hubby: You need to come back here and we need to start unloading the truck.
Me: ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? We just spent 4 hours loading it with the help of ten people!
Hubby: I'm not sure what else to do. Just come back.

This is what I saw when I pulled up. An exasperated Hubby... and Neighbor Man with a jack.

 It wasn't looking good, no matter what angle one chose....

That would be the divots in our CONCRETE driveway from our weighty load. 

Well, in a short 6 minutes, one very wise neighbor came up with the idea of putting something under each rear tire to give it just enough lift that when Hubby gunned the engine the truck would come loose. (All I could see was the rear bumper coming off the Penske.) Luckily, Neighbor Man was much smarter than me and we were FREEEEE. On the road... again... for real...

I'll spare you ALL the details of the unloading in West Lafayette. There were three different drop off locations (everything is in storage) and minimal helpers. Needless to say, when our 14-hour day ended at 11:30pm we fell asleep quickly.

At 8:30 Sunday morning we were on the road again. We were on a mission to be at 11am church (our last time of worship with our peeps) and then to a sweet, sweet going away open house. I will never forget the words that our friends spoke to us. So much encouragement and truth and Jesus.

But enough of that... time for truckload #2 to be loaded. There's not much, I thought. Thankfully some dear (ie WISE) friends showed up to help us a second day in a row, and we packed the truck again... full.

 Meanwhile... the kids found places to nap...

And, for the second time in one day, I saw SR 25 from Rochester to Lafayette. Trust me, this is not something to put on one's bucket list.

Here's drop zone #2 of three...

The hilarity came at 11:30 Sunday night, as me and The Hubby made our way to Embrace The Pace at our temporary home #1. There was quite a lightening storm going on in the distant countryside around us (think summer storm, fun to watch on a porch.) It was super windy, but not raining hard. As we slowed on SR 25 to turn on to US 31, I asked if Hubby would mind taking over the wheel. Without hesitation, we did a Chinese fire drill. However, we forgot to establish who would be taking which route around the exterior of the car and then ***BAM***, we cracked heads. I'm talking full-on, no-time-to-stop, leave-a-goose-egg-or-black-eye contact. We both climbed back into the van with a hand over an eye, and laughed. We gut laughed. We could hardly breathe because of the hilarity of that moment... or that day... or that weekend... or that event.

God was faithful in providing help... safe travels... and moments to cling to Him.

He. Is. Good.

So tomorrow, it is finished. We officially close on our house and walk like the Israelites did. No home. No certain future. Just us and the Lord.

The Great Adventure is in full swing.

the Real me and the Purple Dress

I was invited to speak at our final MOPS meeting of the year last Thursday, and this is the message God laid on my heart to share. It's just a glimpse of the real me...

I am obsessed with time.

I am a planner, and I’m pretty sure I’m OCD- a lethal combination. But this year, God has been refining me in this area.

In August, after months of prayer, with a 3 month old and 3.5 year old, God called me into full time ministry as a full time mom.  This was not an easy decision to come to. Not only was our household income going to be cut in half, but … What does that even look like? I don’t know how to be a full-time stay-at-home mom. I remember calling a girlfriend and asking, “So, what do you do all day? What is your routine?” Some women are born to be moms. They’re cute, and crafty… they’re the ones behind Pinterest! And, though I like to be cute and creative with my kids, I often need an example of what or how.  

Ez 36:26 says, “ I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” What I didn’t realize was happening this year was divine heart surgery.

I  had established myself as a Real Estate expert. I thrived on a full schedule of showings, closings, listing appointments, training new agents… and then came everything else… including my husband and kids. I didn’t realize how stony my heart had become until I was asked this question: For what kinds of satisfaction are you investing time, energy and money?

What kinds of satisfaction? Well, honor, name recognition, prestige… everything was about my three favorite people… me, myself and I. It was about the business I had built… the connections I had made… the clients I was taking care of… the money I was bringing in…  

2 Chronicles 7:14 says, “If my people will humble themselves & pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” I wanted God to hear me and I wanted to be forgiven and healed, but I didn’t want to be humble, pray or turn from my selfish ways.

I decided I needed to make more of an effort in scripture memorization. The first verse I chose was Philippians 4: 4-8, which says, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Let your gentleness be evident to all. I am anything but gentle! I'm not super compassionate, busy, forward-focused… no time to slow and certainly no time to be gentle.

Shortly after starting to pray about this decision to be home fulltime—before the actual decision had been made—I went to a conference in Indy with some girlfriends called “Women of Faith.” One of the speakers talked about the pain of staying same v. pain of change. I had never thought about that. We all think of the pain of change… like I mentioned… giving up income… giving up business suits… and luncheons. But what about the pain of staying the same? If I kept on, I would miss so much more… and things I had never even considered at that point in my life. Another speaker at that conference talked about “pruning your life.” Stepping back and looking at everything and then asking yourself a tough question… well, tough for someone like me who wants to be involved in everything and not “waste” a moment of the day. The question was: What is God calling me to end?

Okay, okay, Lord. I’m getting it. I don’t have it yet, but I’m getting it.

I had asked for a lot of people’s wisdom and advice as I was making this decision, and someone told me this: Watch out for compulsion, God’s ways are orderly. That was so good for me to hear, as I’m a very quick decision maker! Then I read Ecclesiastes 3:1, which says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven…”

Okay, Lord. I got it now. I have my whole life to work… and make contacts… and do what I’m passionate about outside of the home. But right now, there are two little people that are growing up and I’m missing it.

This decision to stay home was confirmed later into the fall as I started a bible study on Acts with a group called Bible Study Fellowship, or BSF. It has had a HUGE impact on my life this year—and my decision to be home full time. As the teaching leader gave her introductory lesson on the book of Acts, she said “Acts is about ordinary people doing extraordinary things for God, empowered by the Holy Spirit.” She then posed two questions: Am I so busy that I miss what God has for me? Um… yes! And, what am I busy doing that will last for eternity? Ouch. Not much.

2 Timothy 2:21 says, “If a man cleanses himself from the later, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.” I had made my decision. I wanted to be ready to be used—can’t be tired, over committed or distracted.

So this last year has been incredible. God has used my husband, our kids, my girlfriends, our financial situation, my calendar, and so many other means to speak to me and remind me of His presence. I read this quote somewhere, and I think as moms it’s so true: Great opportunities may come once in a while but small opportunities surround us every day.

Let me tell you the story of the purple dress.

One day, I revealed to The Girl my stash of bridesmaid dresses, which I keep in our guest room closet. She absolutely LOVES to dress me up in them. She would pick out the whole ensemble and then we'd pretend I was going to a "ball" or we'd just dance around the room. This was fun for a bit, but tending to an infant in that get-up was nearly impossible, and oftentimes I cut the game short. One night she was insistent that I go and put on "the purple dress." Over and over she talked about "the purple dress." Well, I don’t have any purple bridesmaids dresses and just couldn’t understand her persistence. It ended in tears when I told her to stop asking me… it was time for dinner… then bed. We had had fun in the other dresses. End. Of. Story. Or so I thought....

That night I walked into my closet and saw this:

Shoes, necklace, headband and ring…. all perfectly laid out under my purple dress... in my closet.

All I could do was sob, and beg God for forgiveness. And the worst part was I couldn’t undo it with The Girl. She was asleep and by morning, being a 3.5-year-old, she would have completely forgotten it.

So, I’m learning. I don’t have the full-time stay-at-home-mom thing all figured out. I’m messing up daily, like I did with the purple dress, but I’m learning from my mistakes.

About two weeks ago, The Girl started begging to paint my nails. I was always finding something else to do that required dry fingernails… make dinner, change a diaper… clean the house. Suddenly, I thought of the purple dress. As soon as I got Jack down for a nap, I told The Girl to go get the nail polish. She was so pumped. And then, for 20 short minutes, we sat in the kitchen as she delicately held each of my fingers and toes and gave me a manicure and pedicure. I will never forget that.

Luke 9:23 says “Then he (Jesus) said to them all: ‘If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.”

What really matters to you? When Christ’s return is near possession, status, power mean nothing. It’s all about relationships. Who are you influencing?

Sweet sweat

Today I went for a run for the first time in 10 days. Between the thick, wet air and a gut full of a delicious MOPS brunch, I thought I might die... or puke... or just pass out. Of the many weird things about me, when I work out, I don't sweat until I stop exercising. I know, bizarre.

So, today was no different, except for the amount of sweat. It was rolling off me. My shirt was soaked. I felt legit in my efforts to be athletic.

The Hubby had to rush off to work, so we high-fived, gave a kiss, and off he went. It was just me and The Boy. And, my sweat. As I let The Boy down from his high-chair, I was surprised that even in my stinky, ringing wet state, he wanted to be held. And not just held, but he wanted to be snuggled.

Ew!

"I know I'm your mom, and I'm thankful you love me no matter what, but Little Dude, I STINK!"

And then it hit me. It's just like Jesus.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." -Matthew 11:28

When you stink, come to Jesus.
When you're sweaty, come to Jesus.
When you're struggling, come to Jesus.

No matter what. No matter when.

You don't clean yourself up to go to your Father.

I let myself lay on the floor, and I laughed (not in disgust) as my son crawled all over me. He nuzzled me. He wrestled me. He didn't give one care or concern to my odorous state of being.

Matthew went on to say this, "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

So, where are you finding rest? Are you trying to clean up your sweaty-self before going to Jesus? Are you being honest with Him and yourself about the reality of your sin?

Thank you, Jesus, for using the sweet sweat and an adorable one-year-old to remind me of how much you love me.

The Treasure Box

For one of my baby showers, waaaaaaaay back when The Girl was born, my sister gave me this box. It has become one of my most favorite traditions, and the one thing I would go back into my house for if it was burning to the ground. (Assuming all living things are out, of course!)

Each year, on the kids' birthdays, The Hubby and I write them a letter. We talk about the last year, how they've grown, and what we look forward to in the year ahead. The letters are then sealed, placed inside, and forgotten about. The premise behind the box is that 21 days before their 21st birthday, you start mailing them the letters, one per day. (I know, sob!) I'm not sure if we'll do that, or mail however many we have that many days before their wedding. (For The Girl, that means we only have about 8 more years, as most of her wedding is already planned. She'll just have to narrow down which groom she'll have.)

Anyway, The Boy had a birthday, and here's what he'll read from me 20 years from now...

JRG--

My little buddy. My little stinker (literally—every diaper I changed in the last 48 hours involved #2). Happy 1^st Birthday! I cannot even believe we’re saying that already.

There really are no words to express how much joy you have brought to our family in the last 365 days. We had to coerce you out of the womb, but pretty much since that moment you have shown your independence. (Unlike your sister, you never let me snuggle you to sleep!) You rolled over on your own when you were a mere 5 weeks old, and made it an easy habit by 3 months. By 8 months you were climbing the stairs with ease, always ending up in the bathroom, where you either 1) climbed into the tub or 2) unrolled the entire roll of toilet paper.

You are, and always have been, such a happy little guy. I’ll never forget trying to get you to laugh when you were two months old, and the hilarious sound you made. That sound has turned into one of the best baby gut laughs I’ve ever heard. Every part of you is ticklish.

Rightfully so, your first word was “Adda.” And, as much as Dad would have liked to claim you were looking for him, we all knew you were talking to your big sister. She loves you so much, and you absolutely adore her. I pray you two become the best of friends, even though I know there might be a few rocky years in there, too. Your second word was “ball,” which you’re quickly learning how to “throw.”  I can’t wait to see what sports interest you, or if you end up interested in sports at all?

When you were born I was still working full time as a Realtor. I took six weeks “off” and never figured out how to get back into things full time. By the time you were six months old, Dad and I were trusting God as we felt Him calling me to be home full time. I’m so thankful for that blessing, as we’ve been able to have so much fun together this year—without the distractions of my work.

Jack, you are a joy. You are all boy—into everything, happy only when there’s a mess, and melting hearts with your dimples and curly blonde hair. I pray that God grabs a hold of your heart, and that you do great things to bring glory to His name.

With love,

Mama

Milestone

Our house has been on the market two weeks, as of tomorrow. Today we're having our 11th (ELEVENTH!) showing.

When I was selling real estate, I encouraged my clients to reduce their price every 11 showings, or 21 days--whichever came first-- if we didn't have an offer. And though I used to think I was brilliant, we're not heeding that advice. We did have an offer in that time frame. However, we don't have enough funds in our savings account and retirements accounts combined to come up with the shortage that sales price would have gotten us.

Anyway, our home is gleaming. I'm talking sparkling. I try and do something before each showing to freshen the overall scent (i.e. Lysol toilets, Pine-Sol floors, Windex glass, etc.) The problem is, I'm quickly running out of scents stunts. I think for our next showing (don't worry, it's already scheduled for Monday) I'm going to throw caution to the wind and "go Lexus" on 'em. That's right, I'm going to just climb on the roof and tie a bright red bow. What bigger sign could the potential buyer need than that?

"Honey, look! It even has a big red bow! It's perfect."

But seriously, having a sparkling clean house is not all that it's cracked up to be. Let me tell you, I've become a raving lunatic. My kids can attest-- well, the kid that can talk-- to this! And, it's all so fleeting. You get it sparkling, you leave, and 10 seconds after you come back it's a wreck. Not. Worth. It.

However, I keep reminding myself that one of these days the next owner of this home is going to walk through its front door. And though, like high school choir concerts in which you've sung the song 10,000 times, it's the first time for someone to hear it (or see it in this case), so the cleaning must go on!

My other gripe (as long as you're still reading I'll go on...) is the times of showings. Ohhhhhh myyyy worrrddd. The first-thing-in-the-morning request make me jump for joy. Kids go to bed. We clean. They wake up. And we have Martin's doughnuts on location for breakfast. The showing requests for 5-7 pm are just brutal. There's no other word. It's just enough after nap time that the house is wrecked... Hubby isn't home from work to aid in the last minute prep... and the Boy and Girl are usually starved for dinner.

But, the alternative is no showings, and that would be even more miserable.

Anyway, I'm off to find a ladder. Gotta get that bow up!

Today

I'm having a paradigm shift. It's called today.

I've very familiar with tomorrow. I've been planning it for weeks. And yesterday? Oh I can wallow in the sorrows and failures of that one forever. But today? Humph. What exactly are you?

We (as in me, The Hubby, The Girl and The Boy) are headed into a major season of change. There's lots of stuff on the horizon, and therefore lots of necessity to start list-making. And yet, my pen rests. (Well, okay, there might be one or two lists floating around.)

Here's what Matthew, a Jewish tax collector who became a follower of Jesus, had to say, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." -Matthew 6:34

Duly noted, Matthew. Sage advice.

What I'm starting to learn about myself, is that if I just focus on today I get so much more accomplished.

A big "ah-ha" has come in using my new "today" philosophy in regards to working out. The old me would get out a calender, map out a week worth of workouts, and be livid by day 2 when I'm already off "the plan." The new me says, "Okay, Stacy, here is today. Where can you fit in 30-40 minutes of cardio?" It's so simple it's silly. But, it's working.

The same thing goes for "dieting." I was famous for hearing about a great new diet plan... getting the book... studying it... restocking our kitchen... and then being bored by the third meal. The new me says, "Stacy. What is your goal? Is what you're about to put in your mouth going to get you to your goal?" It's not about "blowing the diet for the day" or "falling off course." It's about having a focus, and that focus is now.

In the larger issue at hand--the blur on the horizon ahead-- the fact of the matter is that today I reside in Granger. This is where God has us right now. The ministries He has included me in have not changed. The neighbors have not changed. The friendships have not been severed. I am not letting Satan push me into a hole to wallow in my sorrows.

Jesus' brother, James, had this to say: "Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." -James 4:13-15

I don't know about tomorrow, but I do know today. I'm here. I'm in it. This is the Lord's will for my life.  Live today.

Boys will be boys...

"How lovely! The Boy is playing so quietly as I blog in the sunlight and sip my coffee. What a joy!"

After a few posts, I decided he was all too quiet. Then, I walked into the kitchen...

... to the dissection of the sippy cup cabinet...
... an expedition through the trash can (coffee grounds and egg shells included!)...
... and caught in the act of turning on the stove.

How could I not grab the camera? Boys will be boys!

The Facebook Conundrum

Ahhhh Facebook. You're a very divisive topic. We either love you or we hate you. You've reconnected relationships and ruined others.

Suddenly, I'm just not sure how I feel about you.

Last Spring, I took the Facebook app off my phone. I had spent one too many evenings, while giving The Boy a 2am feeding, scrolling my wall. I also paused one too many games of "Go Fish" to check in on everyone in the middle of the afternoon... or upload a picture of my precious kids... or tell about some great thought I had just had. Having it on my phone was allowing FB to consume me. I was thinking in status updates.

More recently, a few friends have given up Facebook for Lent. Noble. I don't consider myself an "addict," but I am now wondering what Facebook really does for me.

Spilling the truth of this conundrum is even more radical for me, as I am a certified continuing education instructor for the use of social media in Real Estate. Don't get me wrong, there are many great uses for this website, I don't dispute that at all-- especially in the business realm-- but that's not what I'm using it for any longer.

A few months ago, The Hubby and I deleted our individual accounts and created a joint one. One of the reasons we did this was that starting a new one was easier than deleting the more than 500 real estate related "friends" I had after teaching those CE courses-- and no longer felt I needed to foster those relationships after being called home to raise our children. Having a joint account also created an accountability that neither of us realized we needed. For the most part, we were communicating with all the same people via individual accounts. As we "accepted" friends to our new account, we asked ourselves the question "Is this someone that I would mail a birthday card?" (Those of you that are reading this that ARE FB friends know that we don't actually do this... but I digress...)

Some small group friends brought my attention to this Piper quote:
“One of the great uses of Twitter and Facebook will be to prove at the Last Day that prayerlessness was not from lack of time.” --John Piper

Ouch. I am SO convicted, SO guilty.

I spend more time scrolling through the happenings of my "friends" and "followers" than I do at the feet of my Savior, interceding for them in prayer. It's true. Ew. Sick. Gross.

So, now I'm doing some soul searching, and dragging The Hubby along with me. (Honestly, I don't think he really cares whether or not we have a FB account.) Some thoughts to ponder: Does FB still distract, even after you've whittled down to your nearest and dearest? Is it keeping me from authentic conversation with these nearest and dearest because it's as if I already know what's happening in their lives when we're actually together? Am I communicating via FB or coveting?

As I mentioned before, The Hubby and I are revisiting "Purpose Driven Life" during Lent. A few days ago, I was reminded of that huge question I will be asked of the Lord when I stand at His feet on Judgement Day: "What did you do with what I gave you?" This is a loaded question, which deserves a full blog post. But, relating to this specific topic, I would be highly embarrassed to answer.


So, if one day we vanish off Facebook, you'll now know why. It is not a judgement to our friends that continue to use the site. Don't get me wrong. There are plenty of things I would miss. There are friends across the country and around the world that I don't get to see regularly, and FB allows us to "keep in touch." I get a lot of breaking news from FB, and can keep tabs on politics, sales and incoming weather. And, who knows? We might actually feel the call to jump back in.

But you can rest assured that if I'm no longer on Facebook, I'm spending the time praying over you. You're worth it.

What a difference a decade makes...

Last night we wrapped up three weeks of birthday celebrations. It started a few days before my birthday, when The Hubby took me on a surprise getaway to Chicago. Then came the actual date-- which caught me by surprise. And, finally, last night I enjoyed yet another amazing cake made by a dear friend, along with games and merriment with people I love.

A week ago I turned 30. To anyone born before 1980, I am still very young. To anyone born from 1980-1984, I'm normal. And to anyone born after 1985, I'm closer to their age than they thought ;)

Regardless, the last few weeks have included some intense reflection. So much has happened in the last 10 years! (Well, honestly, so much has happened in the last 30 years, but I'll spare you all of those details...)

Since 2002, I--
-got baptized
-was an Indianapolis 500 Festival Princess
-became an Aunt
-lived, studied in Mexico for 6 weeks
-graduated from college
-traveled to China for 2 weeks with ABC's "Nightline"
-stood up for 11 girlfriends in their weddings
-married the man of my dreams!
-owned 4 homes, and one investment property
-gave birth, twice
-ran 3 half marathons
-helped more than 200 people buy or sell a home

Of course there are a lot of other things that God has done over the last 10 years, and some painful stuff too, but those are the "highlights."

I was telling a friend last night that after one week, I think thirty feels good. Since 6th grade I've been trying to figure out who I am (I know, I'm a slow learner) and I think I've finally got it. It's not because of the list of events and accomplishments above.

It's because of Jesus.

I'm learning, daily, more about who He is, and therefore, who I am IN HIM.

"But I trust in your unfailing love.
I will rejoice because you have rescued me." -Psalm 13:5

Thankful

There are so many things in my world to be thankful for. Two things at the top of my list, currently, are the ability to pray and BSF (Bible Study Fellowship).

Prayer. The opportunity to speak to my Creator. To praise Him. To confess the gross in my life. To thank Him. To pray for others. So, so thankful.

BSF. If you've never head of Bible Study Fellowship, let me tell you that it is an AWESOME organization, committed to nothing other than the pure, non-denominational teaching of God's written Word- The Bible. The same lesson is being taught, around the world, to men, women and children. It's a year-long study (coinciding with the school-year calender) and takes a four-fold approach to studying and learning from God's word: daily questions, discussion groups, lecture and study notes.

Being a part of this study has changed my life as I've participated in 4 studies (Genesis, Romans, Isaiah and currently Acts of the Apostles), and this year is shaping our children as well. I switched to the "day study" which has a complete curriculum for our kids, including The Boy, who was 4 months old when I enrolled him. They don't just sit him in a corner and give him toys to keep him happy. They pray over him, sing over him, recite scripture to him, and just cover him in LOVE. What more could a mother want?

One of the neat encouragements for parents are the "Home Training Lessons" given out each week. They give practical suggestions for continuing to teach that week's lesson at home for the next week. (The kids learn the same thing we do, so we can talk about it- so cool!) Last week, when we left, The Girl--3-- told me, "Mom!  I learned about God today! Paul suffered to tell about Jesus!" I wanted to sob, right then and there. SO thankful for this ministry!

A recent Home Training Lesson was "Ways Parents Can Pray for Themselves." Sounds selfish, but lets face it-- we need all the prayers we can get. We have a HUGE job to do! They gave twelve suggestions and Scriptures and I plan to focus on one point a month to concentrate and pray over. Here they are:

1. That I will be convicted of any personal hypocrisy lived out before my children, contradicting what I say by what I do, and, when appropriate, admit my sin to my children. (Matthew 7: 3-6)
2. That my words, looks, and actions will clearly reflect to my children that my mate is loved, honored and cherished (Proverbs 31:10-12; Ephesians 5:25, 28)
3. That I will recognize individual limitations, respect individual differences, and have realistic expectations for each child (Colossians 3:21, Ephesians 6:4)
4. That I will never be too tired or angry or negligent to discipline my children wisely (Proverbs 29:17)
5. That I can be a peacemaker to diminish jealousy and irritations between my children and in doing so encourage them to be peacemakers. (Proverbs 17:14; Philippians 2:3, Matthew 5:9)
6. That I will not spoil my children with too many possessions nor too few expectations and responsibilities (Psalm 37:16)
7. That I will be able to shield my children from premature association with sexuality, sophistication in ideas and dress, and unnecessary knowledge of the world (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 17)
8. That I will resist the enticement of popularity for my children and be willing for our family to be different from the world's standards (1 Samuel 16:7, Psalm 37)
9. That I will be generous in expressing appreciation and approval while holding back reminders about their past failures and mistakes (Psalm 78:38, 39; Proverbs 25:11)
10. That I will know when to step in and take charge of a situation for my children and when to step back and let them learn for themselves (Proverbs 16:9)
11. That prayer will be my immediate response to family joys and crises alike (Ephesians 6:18; 1 Thess. 5: 17, 18)
12. That I will daily remember my own need to be taught by God's Word and filled with his Spirit so that I reflect the joy of the Lord before my children (Psalm 16: 11)
(From BSF "The Acts of the Apostles, Home Training Lesson 14")

I hope this is a help and an encouragement to you, too. Even if you're not a parent, I'm sure you know a parent, who would be so encouraged to have this prayed over them!

And, for my Michiana friends, if you're looking for a great Bible study, join me on Tuesday mornings at 9am at Trinity Church in South Bend (the first Tuesday of every month is an introductory class.) Or, find a class in your community by clicking here. Watch and see how the Lord will change you through this study.

Fine, I'll do it.

Confession: I really don't like to clean.

I love the way my house feels and smells and looks once it IS clean, but the act of cleaning ... ugh. I can think of 8,467 things I'd rather be doing. Now that I sit and think about it, this same set of emotions washes over me when it comes to working out, too! Hmm.

Anyway, back to cleaning. I am an organization nut. Everything in our home has a place. New items in our home (ie. recently aquired Christmas gifts) have 3 options: find a place, replace something else, or get donated.) This can prove to be quite challenge seeing that I share this dwelling with a 3.5 year old, 9 month old, and The Hubby. I'm not into feng shui or anything, but I like order in our world! Now, everything-- in it's appropriate place-- may have an inch of dust on it (I wish I was exaggerating...) but at least it's put away, and "looks" clean.

In an effort to keep on top of this monsterous task, I took some time to make a cleaning list. Pinterest gave me plenty of ideas. Daily. Weekly. Monthly. Kids tasks. Hubby tasks. It went on and on and on. I took some of "their" ideas, but ultimately decided on this:

1. My kids are too young to "clean" ... for now. Don't get me wrong. The Girl has to help straighten her room every night... and gets to take a few swipes of the vacuum now and then... but much more than this and she becomes yet another obstacle in my cleaning debacle.
2. The Hubby works full time. And, though he's more than willing to do his share, I let him bring home the bacon and care for everything we own outside of the walls of our home (ie. yard, cars, etc.) And, to be brutally honest, my perfectionism would find a way to criticize his helpfulness. I know, I have issues.
3. Not everything in our home needs to be cleaned daily, or weekly. So, a two week schedule seems to be a good fit. There are some things that need to be done every week, so you'll notice they're on both lists.
4. Organizing my list down to the day seems impracticle and lacking in Grace. By making a "week one" and "week two" schedule, I have seven full days to get everything done. If I get it all done on Sunday, great. If it's a last minute push on Friday, no problem!
5. My friends are cleaning fools. Some of them clean their kitchen floor, daily. I refuse to put such pressure on myself! :) I figure it's something to aspire to! If nothing else, I at least try and do my floors before they come for a play date. Wouldn't want them to gag or anything!

Week One:

□   Our laundry

□   Clean toilets

□   Kitchen counters

□   Empty trash, recycle bin

□   Clean glass (incld bath mirrors)

□   Dust bedrooms

□   Vac/ mop kitchen & foyer floor

□   Vacuum stairways & bedrooms

□   Wipe out microwave

□   Scrub tub/shower/vanities

□   Mop bathroom floors

□   Change our sheets

□   Change kids sheets

□   Meal plan & Grocery list

□   Sweep front porch

Week Two:

□   Kids laundry

□   Clean toilets

□   Kitchen counters

□   Empty trash, recycle bin

□   Windex doors

□   Dust 1^st Floor

□   Vac & mop kitchen & foyer floor

□   Vacuum stairways & 1^st floor

□   Wipe appliance exteriors

□   Scrub kitchen trash can

□   Change our sheets

□   Meal plan & Grocery list

□   Sweep back porch

I have monthly, quarterly, and annual lists, too, but I'll save those for later. For now, I'm on to one of the other 8,466 distractions...

Day Six- Marshmallow Snowman

This was a fun craft to put together with friends! I had to spend $0.89 on a bag of marshvallows, but had everything else on hand. Perfect!

The artists...

The peanut gallery...

Mama's drew snowmen with Elmer's glue, and the artists placed the marshmallows.

They ate as many as they placed...

The artists then dipped one marshmallow in white paint and used it to make falling snow...

And, there you have it. 

A craft done with friends... that was partially edible... and attempted in the first 10 minutes of our playdate... made for success! Thank you, Pinterest, for yet another SCORE!