Are you ready?

When you waddle around in life 37.5 weeks pregnant, you BEG to be asked that one loaded question, "Are you ready?" It is asked of me multiple times a day, every.single.day. I know that people are being cordial and conversational, but I've run out of interesting responses.

Top three:
"...I think so..."
"...we'll find out..."
and,
"...not really."

But today in the shower, I really started thinking about it. I mean, if all goes as planned, this is Grand Finale Grove. I will never (Lord-willing) never carry life within me again. (My cup overfloweth!) So, I'm rethinking my various answers to that oh-so-loaded question:

Are you ready...

...to no longer carry an additionally 40lbs around? HECK YES! Just ask my feet.

...to never again feel that indescribable feeling of life moving within me? No. It's quite possibly the coolest experience ever.

...to see The Boy and The Girl walk into the hospital room to meet their new sibling? No, not at all. They'll immediately both look 75% bigger, and 3 years older, and I just can't handle that.

... to have more than 6 wardrobe items that I fit in to? Yes, yes, yes. I simply cannot find one more way to accessorize and make them look different. I'm so bored with my options, and too cheap to do anything about it.

... to not fit into anything properly for the next 6 months? No, ugh. Talk about depressing. Maternity clothes are too big. Normal clothes are abnormally small. Bring on the yoga pants... and the treadmill.

...to no longer have an excuse for eating crap-ola beyond any reasonable hour? No, I'm going to miss the special time spent in the evenings with The Hubby, Ken Burns, and some Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Seriously, there's no reasonable excuse for eating that stuff at any other time in my life.

...to not get up and potty fives times a night? Oh yes, I cannot wait to sleep through the night again... oh wait...

...to get up fives times a night to nurse a baby/change a diaper/make sure my child hasn't died of SIDS? No. No. No, not at all.

... to find out if it's a boy or a girl? I'm pumped, but not nearly as pumped as I thought I'd be. I really have no preference one way or the other. I just want to have a healthy baby and simple delivery. I think the not knowing will just be a huge motivating factor when it comes time to push.

... to juggle life with three kids? Not at all ready. I'm OCD. I plan. I like a clean house. None of these things goes along with a newborn, a 2.5 year old and a 5 year old. Praying for lots of Grace!

... to sleep on my stomach again? YES. Oh I cannot WAIT to sleep on my stomach again. I'm pretty sure The Hubby can't wait either... I've been accused of snoring for the first time in 8 years of wedded bliss. How dare he!

...to hold the third piece of worldy evidence of how much The Hubby and I love each other? YES! I cannot wait! Who will he/she look like? Will they have lots of hair? What will their personality be like?

So, Am I ready?

I say, bring it on! This is life. We'll roll with it. We'll figure it out. We'll fail. We'll succeed. We'll survive. We'll thrive. We'll be Carried Along. We'll be exhausted. We'll sleep when we're dead.

12 days.

Perspective

I love birthdays! I love cake... presents... surprises... endless FB love... singing... decor... gathering of friends and family... you know, all the things a good b-day entails!

This morning I started a new b-day ritual. I ran 3.1 miles. (Get it? 3.1 because I'm 31...) It was awesome. I'm still out of shape, but I did it. 400 calories- POOF- gone! (I'm thinking this ritual will be more impressive when I'm 65 and running 6.5 miles, no?)

About 20 minutes into this endeavor, two 70-somethings came in (wearing their jeans?) and hopped on the treadmills on either side of me. And, as I redirected my selfish thoughts ("I'm so much faster than them! Look at me go!"), it occurred to me that they're more than twice my age... and still working out. Instantly, I loved these ladies.

And, since I still had another 20 minutes of pain running, my mind began to wonder...

10 years ago I celebrated my 21st Birthday. On the one hand, that seems like an eternity ago, and on the other it seems like just yesterday. Either way, I cringe when I think about it. Some of my still very precious friends and I headed to a few of the local establishments (lots of options, thanks to Purdue), and we. got. loaded. There was a book for signatures after drinks... which were being served by the pitcher-full. There was a piano bar. There was dancing. There was fun and laughter. But, oh my word, there was more alcohol than I care to reflect upon. (This is not a judgement upon those who love this lifestyle. I'm just saying, it's not a good fit for me.)

This morning, my almost two-year-old, and my 4.5-year-old sang "Happy Birthday" to me with their Dad. (I might have asked them to stop, grabbed my video recorder, and had them start again.) It was precious. (By the way, who added the "cha-cha-cha" stuff? My kids think it's a riot.) We were all in our jammies, possibly on day 2 without a shower, eating oatmeal and laughing at D someone who toots a lot. Cherish.

My hubby, after a loooooooong night of work, was thoughtful enough to stop and get flowers, a balloon and a card, which I saw on the kitchen table when I woke up this morning. It could have been a bag of M&M's or even a bowl of pre-poured cereal-- the fact is, he remembered and inconvenienced himself to show me even more love than he usually does. (A year ago, he did this for me on my b-day.)

In 10 more years, I will be 41. HOLY SMOKES! God-willing, I will have a 14-year-old, 12-year-old and who knows how many (if any) other kids! My parents will be in their '70s!!! THEY will be the old people on the treadmills!

Woah. Now there's a new perspective.

Running for HER life

I've said it once, and I'll say it again: I'm a wanna-be runner. I look a fool when I run. I feel like I could die due to a lack of oxygen. I begrudgingly strap on my shoes and dream up any excuse I can to get out of it. I am not a runner, and though my Dad won a state championship that involved running while he was in high school, those genes skipped my body.

Luckily, for me, The Hubby is a runner. To him, it's a stress reliever. And, his "hobby running" is straight up motivation for my two-kids-have-been-carried-full-term-on-these-hips figure.

I ran my first half marathon when The Girl was 9 months old. I sort-of trained. My second half-marathon... well, I had no business running that one. I think I ran about 10 miles total in "training." My third half-marathon was fun. I did it with my sister. Enough said.

A few months ago some friends and I were talking about running a half-marathon together. We decided on the first-ever Purdue Half Marathon and then discovered an organization called As Our Own. In a nutshell, they rescue little girls born to women working in brothels in India... and raise them "as their own." We worked to get the Purdue Half Marathon on the list of sponsor races this year for As Our Own, and it now is! WOOT WOOT! And, we just met our girl.

We're running for Neelu.

"Neelu is 15 years old and is in the 9th grade. She has a knack for keeping things neat and organized. Neelu loves to spend time with her sisters. Here tender heart is hungry to know God through worship and the Bible, and she would like to attend seminary for a future in serving others. She is passionate to go wherever God leads her!

Once a child is rescued into our family, she becomes an irreplaceable member. She is not up for adoption, because she has a permanent place of belonging, right here with us. She's ours to love, nurture, teach, and enjoy. For life."


Neelu is a real girl. She is living a life that I cannot fathom right now, and I certainly couldn't have imagined when I was her age... headed into my freshman year at Harrison High School in West Lafayette.

I am still a wanna-be. I still look funny when I run. I still can't breathe, and I still run a 12 minute mile. But I no longer do it for me. It's not about my figure, my weight, or fitting into my "skinny jeans." Every time I put on my shoes, I think of a sweet girl on the other side of the world who needs to escape her current reality. I think of Neelu, a 15-year-old girl, whom I will likely never meet while on this earth.

She is real. I'm running for HER life.

Will you support Team Indianapolis? https://iwillrun.myetap.org/fundraiser/teamindianapolis/

Birthday Banner

There's a birthday coming, and with it comes my incessant need to create a tradition. I know. That's the dumbest thing ever. But it's true. With every event, or holiday, or moment, I find myself losing sleep over how to either a) capture the "moment" or b) to be able to recreate it. And, lets be honest, the best, most long-standing traditions are not ones that have been conjured up in someones head, or read on someones Pinterest board. They're sudden, spur-of-the-moment, not-intended-to-be-sacred, pauses in time. (Like my family's tradition to watch the very wholesome, family movie "Christmas Vacation" on the eve of the birth of our Savior every year. Don't judge.)

Anywho, as I was perusing FB a few months ago, I saw a photo of a girlfriend's daughter on her b-day, sitting in her highchair with a subtly decorated kitchen in the background. This stuck out to me because said girlfriend was preparing for the big b-day shindig... which was to be over the upcoming weekend. And then I realized, she decorated her kitchen (nothing over-the-top) for THE birthday. The actual day this precious girl left the womb was being celebrated by her Mama, her Daddy and her little sister. Oh yes, the party was to follow, but they didn't miss The Day.

Duh.

It sounds so simple. It is so simple. But I've missed it. Don't get me wrong, we have b-day morning photos, and make a huge deal out of the entire day that the b-day party is taking place, but the D-A-T-E has been overlooked. Drat.

And then came the light bulb!

As I looked back through old photos of The Girl, I realized I have a great "cake" photo of her from all 3 previous birthdays. What fun! A birthday banner!

Each year, I'm going to take that sacred "cake photo" and add it on to this simple, I'm-not-a-scrapbooker banner. And, just to kick it up a notch, a few things will be included on the backside: How we celebrated; What she asked for; and Her own signature (or an outline of her hand if she's too young to write.)

This is a great, simple way for me to catch a moment, without having to maintain a scrapbook. It will also store easily, and make for great decorations (and conversation starters?) in years to follow. To make it extra-suspenseful, I'm going to bring out each "pendant" that many days before her birthday each year. (ie. 3 days before her b-day I'll hang up her 3rd Birthday Pendant, and so on...)

Time to go and make #1 for The Boy.

Nothing spells LOVE like B-B-Q

Since about mid-May, I've had the pleasure of putting many "Pins" to use as my sister-in-law and I planned a couples BBQ wedding shower for her brother/my brother-in-law and our new (almost) sister! The trickiest part of this whole deal was finding adorable things on Pinterest and attempting to  find sneaky ways to get them to one another to read/check-out-- without the Bride seeing what we were up to!

Anyway, here's how things ended up. It was a great evening with friends and family. And, as much as I wanted to pray against rain, I took one for the farmers and told the Lord we could squeeze the tables inside if need be. However, as you all know, that was not an issue... and we continue to wait for the rain.

As our guests arrived, we had each couple fill out a hilarious Mad-libs pertaining to wedding advice for the couple. They were read aloud as the couple-of-honor opened their gifts.

Apparently a few shower guests thought these were real "sliders." They're actually a yellow cupcake cut in half, with half of a chocolate cupcake stacked inside as the "burger." A little yellow icing (mustard)... a little red icing (ketchup) and a toothpick... and voila! (Props to my friend Mrs. R who made these for The Girl's 1st b-day and coached me along as I attempted to remake her art.)

This simple/inexpensive piece of decor was not a Pinterest find thankyouverymuch! I hijacked the Bride & Groom's Facebook photos. Then, I printed them at Sam's Club. Finally, with some hemp and clothespins I had in my crafting "stash," we hung them as a backdrop.

One of the main reasons we chose to do a BBQ (besides having an awesome park-like backyard) was because of this... S'MORES BAR for dessert! We hunted around our local grocers to find out what sorts of marshmallow flavorings they offered (strawberry, toasted coconut and jumbo) and then came up with the menu (see next photo.)

Thankfully, my FIL was thinking ahead and thought to call the police department who Embrace the Pace to see how the burn ban would affect this main-piece of our party. Luckily, we got the go-ahead. Phew!

I've decided when having a buffet, either a menu or placards in front of each "dish" are helpful to guests. We went with a menu. Pre-wrapped silverware with a "dig-in" tag was a fun, whimsical touch, too.

And, to keep with our theme, we labeled mason jars and encouraged guests to write their name on their jar and keep it "in sight."

The other hostess helped with putting pens in all the centerpieces so we wouldn't have to go on a mad-hunt when game time came around.

Centerpieces were: mason jars spray-painted with stained glass paint, aluminum cans wrapped in scrapbook paper, and sitting on a round piece of scrapbook paper. All were placed on a tablecloth of "butcher-block" paper, purchased by the roll at Dollar Tree.

And there you have it. Behind me (as I was taking this photo) were yard games: corn hole, ladder ball and horseshoes.

This was so much fun to plan. It was especially fun because: 1) I live with my in-laws and don't currently have a home/yard to manage. 2) I live with my in-laws and have help with my children. and 3) I live with my in-laws and am not presently working. So, what I'm saying is, I'll likely never in my life have the time I presently do to devote to an event like this. It was fun ;)

Our current reality

We have a really good gig right now. My gracious MIL & FIL opened their home to allow the four of us to move in while we hover between old life and new life. (By move in, I mean utilize 2 of 4 bedrooms, an entire playroom and most every inch of closet space in the house.)

About a week before we moved in, they started on a dream they had when they purchased this home... an awesome, gigantic family room addition.

Here's what it looked like about 3 weeks ago...

Last week, The Girl and I spent a few days in Lafayette, as she had a very important event.... "Pretty Princess Dance Camp." Before we left, The Hubby & FIL started dismantling the wall between the kitchen and the dining room portion of the addition.

Here's what it looked like when we left...

And this is our current reality...

There is no denying that this is going to be one SWEET hang out when all is said and done. However, there are some minor pains along the way. Namely... well... see that plastic wall in the photo above?

Check out what's on the other side of it...

That would be the oven and cook top. :)

Now, in God's sovereignty, this is all going down in the peak of grilling season. And, FIL loves himself some grillin'. I also happen to be very fond of my crock pot, so that's great. And, MIL woke up yesterday and remembered she has an electric skillet. SCORE! So, we're inconvenienced... for a 2nd week.... and all a little edgy when there isn't marked advancement at the end of a days work... but we're not going hungry.

And, we're starting to see the beginnings of many family holidays come to light in one, special room...

940 Saturdays

Friday night in my most-recent Readers Digest, I read this:

940: The number of Saturdays between the day your child is born and the time he or she turns 18. The phrase might serve as a reminder to cherish the time you have with your child and use it wisely.
-From No Regrets Parenting by Harley Rotbart, MD

Wow. Only 940? That doesn't seem like many!

When we got pregnant with The Boy, The Hubby started a Saturday morning tradition with The Girl in which the two of them went on a doughnut expedition. Each Saturday, they'd wake up and ditch me to go and find the most wonderful of puffy, filled, iced confections. Not only did I get an hour or so to myself, but they got their much needed one-on-one time and most of the time they remembered to bring me one, too ;) In the end it was a win for all parties involved.

Now, it's a family affair. Most Saturdays, no matter what city we're in, we get up, get dressed, and let the hunt begin.

I did some math after reading this statistic (don't worry, I used a calculator) and discovered that we only have 732 Saturdays left with The Girl. WHAT? How is that even possible? In four short years we've whittled away more than 200! (Hold in the tears. Hold in the tears. Hold in the tears.)

Immediately, I was convicted (once again) of my selfishness. Just that morning, The Hubby had been invited by my FIL to go play a round of golf. SELFISHLY, I wanted to cross my arms, stop my foot and say, "I've been here with these yahoos all week... the three of us REALLY need you here... for our sanity... and you want to go be away from us for 4.5 hours of swinging a stick with your Dad?"

And then it hit me.

"... with your Dad."

You see, the thing is, even though they've already had their 940 Saturdays, I had the opportunity to allow them both #941 or #1265, or #1560. It wasn't about "leaving us." It was about time away, not working, to unwind, exercise, laugh and talk ... with his Dad.

So ... what are you doing with the 940 "Saturdays" you've got with your kids? Are you making memories? Are you doing chores as a family? Are you realizing there are only 52/year? (Lets not get all legalistic here, your "Saturday" might very well be Thursday, or Monday, or whatever day works into your family schedule!)

The point is will your son or daughter one day want to come back to your home and continue to have that special one-on-one time? Will they crave the warm feeling in their heart when they think of the fun, silly, spontaneous, ritual, SACRED things you did together at least once a week? Will they want to build those moments into their family life someday?

I hope so... for both your kids and mine.

Embrace The Pace

So as I was running last week, I realized that the motto of the town we're currently living in is "Embrace the pace."

This is not a coincidence.

Then, I started to look around. Everyone really does "embrace the pace." (Did you know that was possible?) Maybe it's summer... maybe it's the average age of town residents... or maybe it's just small-town Indiana... but whatever it is, it's therapeutic.

Anywho, you know you're Embracing The Pace when you find horse and buggy parking at your favorite hometown grocer...

And anyone who has time to shingle their mailbox is certainly Embracing The Pace...

My Father-In-Law, henceforth known as FIL, delicately Embraces The Pace as he gives his grand kids "tractor rides"...

And I have found that the world's most gigantic playpen will allow me to Embrace all sorts of Paces this summer as The Boy is trapped in one location *insert evil laugh*...

I don't know if it's a Pace that we're Embracing as MIL and FIL do this gigantic addition on their house (aka Temporary Dwelling #1), but we're certainly enjoying watching the daily progress...

And, how can you not Embrace The Pace as you watch your laundry spin in the sun?

Life is good. I'm Embracing The Pace.

It is finished

It's hard to believe we've been living in our new digs more than a week already, and yet at the same time, it's hard to believe its only been a week. Youknowwhatimean?

Anyway, the move was quite eventful...

At first we were being cute and silly

Nothing like some Martin's doughnuts to energize you on moving day!

Then, The Hubby pulled in with the BIG truck.

(FYI- It did not have the air-brakes he was hoping for.)

At this point, the piano movers hadn't showed up, so there was still time for cute photos.

Fast forward about four hours. So many of our dear small group friends showed up and we unloaded the house in nothing flat! Unfortunately, we loaded the truck in nothing flat and realized we'd have to make two trips to West Lafayette. That wasn't on the weekend agenda, but we were thankful for unlimited mileage!

So, with tired kids ready to sleep their way to Memaw's, I took off in our fully-loaded van (not fully loaded as in DVD players and automatic doors... think over sized framed art). I was about 7 minutes into the 2+hour drive when Hubby called.

Hubby: The truck is stuck in the driveway.
Me: That's so funny. What did you really call about?
Hubby: I'm not joking. I can't go forward or backwards. It's wedged in.
Me: So..... what are we going to do?
Hubby: You need to come back here and we need to start unloading the truck.
Me: ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? We just spent 4 hours loading it with the help of ten people!
Hubby: I'm not sure what else to do. Just come back.

This is what I saw when I pulled up. An exasperated Hubby... and Neighbor Man with a jack.

 It wasn't looking good, no matter what angle one chose....

That would be the divots in our CONCRETE driveway from our weighty load. 

Well, in a short 6 minutes, one very wise neighbor came up with the idea of putting something under each rear tire to give it just enough lift that when Hubby gunned the engine the truck would come loose. (All I could see was the rear bumper coming off the Penske.) Luckily, Neighbor Man was much smarter than me and we were FREEEEE. On the road... again... for real...

I'll spare you ALL the details of the unloading in West Lafayette. There were three different drop off locations (everything is in storage) and minimal helpers. Needless to say, when our 14-hour day ended at 11:30pm we fell asleep quickly.

At 8:30 Sunday morning we were on the road again. We were on a mission to be at 11am church (our last time of worship with our peeps) and then to a sweet, sweet going away open house. I will never forget the words that our friends spoke to us. So much encouragement and truth and Jesus.

But enough of that... time for truckload #2 to be loaded. There's not much, I thought. Thankfully some dear (ie WISE) friends showed up to help us a second day in a row, and we packed the truck again... full.

 Meanwhile... the kids found places to nap...

And, for the second time in one day, I saw SR 25 from Rochester to Lafayette. Trust me, this is not something to put on one's bucket list.

Here's drop zone #2 of three...

The hilarity came at 11:30 Sunday night, as me and The Hubby made our way to Embrace The Pace at our temporary home #1. There was quite a lightening storm going on in the distant countryside around us (think summer storm, fun to watch on a porch.) It was super windy, but not raining hard. As we slowed on SR 25 to turn on to US 31, I asked if Hubby would mind taking over the wheel. Without hesitation, we did a Chinese fire drill. However, we forgot to establish who would be taking which route around the exterior of the car and then ***BAM***, we cracked heads. I'm talking full-on, no-time-to-stop, leave-a-goose-egg-or-black-eye contact. We both climbed back into the van with a hand over an eye, and laughed. We gut laughed. We could hardly breathe because of the hilarity of that moment... or that day... or that weekend... or that event.

God was faithful in providing help... safe travels... and moments to cling to Him.

He. Is. Good.

So tomorrow, it is finished. We officially close on our house and walk like the Israelites did. No home. No certain future. Just us and the Lord.

The Great Adventure is in full swing.

the Real me and the Purple Dress

I was invited to speak at our final MOPS meeting of the year last Thursday, and this is the message God laid on my heart to share. It's just a glimpse of the real me...

I am obsessed with time.

I am a planner, and I’m pretty sure I’m OCD- a lethal combination. But this year, God has been refining me in this area.

In August, after months of prayer, with a 3 month old and 3.5 year old, God called me into full time ministry as a full time mom.  This was not an easy decision to come to. Not only was our household income going to be cut in half, but … What does that even look like? I don’t know how to be a full-time stay-at-home mom. I remember calling a girlfriend and asking, “So, what do you do all day? What is your routine?” Some women are born to be moms. They’re cute, and crafty… they’re the ones behind Pinterest! And, though I like to be cute and creative with my kids, I often need an example of what or how.  

Ez 36:26 says, “ I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” What I didn’t realize was happening this year was divine heart surgery.

I  had established myself as a Real Estate expert. I thrived on a full schedule of showings, closings, listing appointments, training new agents… and then came everything else… including my husband and kids. I didn’t realize how stony my heart had become until I was asked this question: For what kinds of satisfaction are you investing time, energy and money?

What kinds of satisfaction? Well, honor, name recognition, prestige… everything was about my three favorite people… me, myself and I. It was about the business I had built… the connections I had made… the clients I was taking care of… the money I was bringing in…  

2 Chronicles 7:14 says, “If my people will humble themselves & pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” I wanted God to hear me and I wanted to be forgiven and healed, but I didn’t want to be humble, pray or turn from my selfish ways.

I decided I needed to make more of an effort in scripture memorization. The first verse I chose was Philippians 4: 4-8, which says, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Let your gentleness be evident to all. I am anything but gentle! I'm not super compassionate, busy, forward-focused… no time to slow and certainly no time to be gentle.

Shortly after starting to pray about this decision to be home fulltime—before the actual decision had been made—I went to a conference in Indy with some girlfriends called “Women of Faith.” One of the speakers talked about the pain of staying same v. pain of change. I had never thought about that. We all think of the pain of change… like I mentioned… giving up income… giving up business suits… and luncheons. But what about the pain of staying the same? If I kept on, I would miss so much more… and things I had never even considered at that point in my life. Another speaker at that conference talked about “pruning your life.” Stepping back and looking at everything and then asking yourself a tough question… well, tough for someone like me who wants to be involved in everything and not “waste” a moment of the day. The question was: What is God calling me to end?

Okay, okay, Lord. I’m getting it. I don’t have it yet, but I’m getting it.

I had asked for a lot of people’s wisdom and advice as I was making this decision, and someone told me this: Watch out for compulsion, God’s ways are orderly. That was so good for me to hear, as I’m a very quick decision maker! Then I read Ecclesiastes 3:1, which says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven…”

Okay, Lord. I got it now. I have my whole life to work… and make contacts… and do what I’m passionate about outside of the home. But right now, there are two little people that are growing up and I’m missing it.

This decision to stay home was confirmed later into the fall as I started a bible study on Acts with a group called Bible Study Fellowship, or BSF. It has had a HUGE impact on my life this year—and my decision to be home full time. As the teaching leader gave her introductory lesson on the book of Acts, she said “Acts is about ordinary people doing extraordinary things for God, empowered by the Holy Spirit.” She then posed two questions: Am I so busy that I miss what God has for me? Um… yes! And, what am I busy doing that will last for eternity? Ouch. Not much.

2 Timothy 2:21 says, “If a man cleanses himself from the later, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.” I had made my decision. I wanted to be ready to be used—can’t be tired, over committed or distracted.

So this last year has been incredible. God has used my husband, our kids, my girlfriends, our financial situation, my calendar, and so many other means to speak to me and remind me of His presence. I read this quote somewhere, and I think as moms it’s so true: Great opportunities may come once in a while but small opportunities surround us every day.

Let me tell you the story of the purple dress.

One day, I revealed to The Girl my stash of bridesmaid dresses, which I keep in our guest room closet. She absolutely LOVES to dress me up in them. She would pick out the whole ensemble and then we'd pretend I was going to a "ball" or we'd just dance around the room. This was fun for a bit, but tending to an infant in that get-up was nearly impossible, and oftentimes I cut the game short. One night she was insistent that I go and put on "the purple dress." Over and over she talked about "the purple dress." Well, I don’t have any purple bridesmaids dresses and just couldn’t understand her persistence. It ended in tears when I told her to stop asking me… it was time for dinner… then bed. We had had fun in the other dresses. End. Of. Story. Or so I thought....

That night I walked into my closet and saw this:

Shoes, necklace, headband and ring…. all perfectly laid out under my purple dress... in my closet.

All I could do was sob, and beg God for forgiveness. And the worst part was I couldn’t undo it with The Girl. She was asleep and by morning, being a 3.5-year-old, she would have completely forgotten it.

So, I’m learning. I don’t have the full-time stay-at-home-mom thing all figured out. I’m messing up daily, like I did with the purple dress, but I’m learning from my mistakes.

About two weeks ago, The Girl started begging to paint my nails. I was always finding something else to do that required dry fingernails… make dinner, change a diaper… clean the house. Suddenly, I thought of the purple dress. As soon as I got Jack down for a nap, I told The Girl to go get the nail polish. She was so pumped. And then, for 20 short minutes, we sat in the kitchen as she delicately held each of my fingers and toes and gave me a manicure and pedicure. I will never forget that.

Luke 9:23 says “Then he (Jesus) said to them all: ‘If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.”

What really matters to you? When Christ’s return is near possession, status, power mean nothing. It’s all about relationships. Who are you influencing?

Miss Independent

For weeks, I've been wanting a pedicure.
For days, The Girl has been begging to paint my nails.

So, yesterday I got what I hope will be the first of many precious in-house salon experiences.

I knew it was going be a little... imperfect... when the paint brush strokes went side-to-side on my nail bed.

I couldn't resist taking this next picture (below). In fact, I made her pause her work to go and get the camera for me. (My toes were still wet!) I just love her focus, and the way she so delicately held my aging finger in her tiny hand.

Then, my heart broke a bit. How many of these precious "imperfect" moments have I missed over the last four years?

... when the laundry seemed more important...

... or I had a contract to write with clients...

... or needed to get dinner started...

... or dishes done... or return an email...

I'm wearing these nails with pride... all 20 of 'em. (We had to count them as she blew on each, individual nail bed to dry them more quickly.)

They're messy. They're imperfect. But the time-invested in getting them this way is one of those little nuggets I'll hide in my heart for the rest of my life.

I love you, Sweet Girl. Thanks for your persistence in getting me to slow down.

Milestone

Our house has been on the market two weeks, as of tomorrow. Today we're having our 11th (ELEVENTH!) showing.

When I was selling real estate, I encouraged my clients to reduce their price every 11 showings, or 21 days--whichever came first-- if we didn't have an offer. And though I used to think I was brilliant, we're not heeding that advice. We did have an offer in that time frame. However, we don't have enough funds in our savings account and retirements accounts combined to come up with the shortage that sales price would have gotten us.

Anyway, our home is gleaming. I'm talking sparkling. I try and do something before each showing to freshen the overall scent (i.e. Lysol toilets, Pine-Sol floors, Windex glass, etc.) The problem is, I'm quickly running out of scents stunts. I think for our next showing (don't worry, it's already scheduled for Monday) I'm going to throw caution to the wind and "go Lexus" on 'em. That's right, I'm going to just climb on the roof and tie a bright red bow. What bigger sign could the potential buyer need than that?

"Honey, look! It even has a big red bow! It's perfect."

But seriously, having a sparkling clean house is not all that it's cracked up to be. Let me tell you, I've become a raving lunatic. My kids can attest-- well, the kid that can talk-- to this! And, it's all so fleeting. You get it sparkling, you leave, and 10 seconds after you come back it's a wreck. Not. Worth. It.

However, I keep reminding myself that one of these days the next owner of this home is going to walk through its front door. And though, like high school choir concerts in which you've sung the song 10,000 times, it's the first time for someone to hear it (or see it in this case), so the cleaning must go on!

My other gripe (as long as you're still reading I'll go on...) is the times of showings. Ohhhhhh myyyy worrrddd. The first-thing-in-the-morning request make me jump for joy. Kids go to bed. We clean. They wake up. And we have Martin's doughnuts on location for breakfast. The showing requests for 5-7 pm are just brutal. There's no other word. It's just enough after nap time that the house is wrecked... Hubby isn't home from work to aid in the last minute prep... and the Boy and Girl are usually starved for dinner.

But, the alternative is no showings, and that would be even more miserable.

Anyway, I'm off to find a ladder. Gotta get that bow up!

Today

I'm having a paradigm shift. It's called today.

I've very familiar with tomorrow. I've been planning it for weeks. And yesterday? Oh I can wallow in the sorrows and failures of that one forever. But today? Humph. What exactly are you?

We (as in me, The Hubby, The Girl and The Boy) are headed into a major season of change. There's lots of stuff on the horizon, and therefore lots of necessity to start list-making. And yet, my pen rests. (Well, okay, there might be one or two lists floating around.)

Here's what Matthew, a Jewish tax collector who became a follower of Jesus, had to say, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." -Matthew 6:34

Duly noted, Matthew. Sage advice.

What I'm starting to learn about myself, is that if I just focus on today I get so much more accomplished.

A big "ah-ha" has come in using my new "today" philosophy in regards to working out. The old me would get out a calender, map out a week worth of workouts, and be livid by day 2 when I'm already off "the plan." The new me says, "Okay, Stacy, here is today. Where can you fit in 30-40 minutes of cardio?" It's so simple it's silly. But, it's working.

The same thing goes for "dieting." I was famous for hearing about a great new diet plan... getting the book... studying it... restocking our kitchen... and then being bored by the third meal. The new me says, "Stacy. What is your goal? Is what you're about to put in your mouth going to get you to your goal?" It's not about "blowing the diet for the day" or "falling off course." It's about having a focus, and that focus is now.

In the larger issue at hand--the blur on the horizon ahead-- the fact of the matter is that today I reside in Granger. This is where God has us right now. The ministries He has included me in have not changed. The neighbors have not changed. The friendships have not been severed. I am not letting Satan push me into a hole to wallow in my sorrows.

Jesus' brother, James, had this to say: "Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." -James 4:13-15

I don't know about tomorrow, but I do know today. I'm here. I'm in it. This is the Lord's will for my life.  Live today.

Easter Rocks

Once upon a time, in a land very much like our back yard, there lived some rocks. They weren't fancy rocks, just your average, likely-to-be-found-by-your-three-year-old-in-your-neighbors-landscaping rocks. One by one, said rocks appeared in our back yard, where The Hubby could easily run over them with the lawn mower and injure himself... or say things he would later regret.

There also happened to be a surplus of paints, a sleeping Boy, some beautiful weather, and a Mama and Girlie with cabin fever.

"Daughter!" said the Mama. "I have a wonderful craft idea!"

"Really!?!" said The Girl, with her eyes full of wonderment.

"Yes," said the Mama. "Lets paint those rocks!"

"Mama," said The Girl disappointedly, "those are my EGGS!"

"Ah yes," said the Mama, "I meant the eggs. Lets paint those EGGS to look like... Easter eggs!"

"Ohhhhh Mama," exclaimed The Girl in her high-pitched, excited voice. "Can we? CAN we? CAN WE NOW??"

"Lets do it," said the Mama.

One at a time, the "eggs" were painted. Lovingly they were stroked with paint soaked brushes and dotted with pastel-colored cotton swabs. They were born. (What did she just say?) Yes, born. And, as soon as they all "came to life" The Girl sang "Happy Birthday" to every. last. one of them.

"Happy Birthday dear yellow striped egg..."

"Happy Birthday dear polka dot egg..."

"Happy Birthday dear purple egg..."

And then, after the bunny sat on them for a few days (so they could "hatch," of course!), they got to serve The Mama's intended purpose. As a free (thanks to the neighbors), lovely centerpiece.

The End.

A new twist on an old favorite...

I'm a big fan of t-shirt scarves for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is the variety in which you can make them (see what I just did there?). Well, my sister-in-law whipped up a whole new version for The Girl for Christmas, and I finally had a chance to attempt it for myself. SO easy. SO cute!

It all started on Thursday evening when some friends and I went down to Hope Ministries to teach the ladies there how to whip up these guys. Discovery of the night: Tie-Dyed t-shirts make some sweet-looking scarves!

This gal is a big ND fan so she opted to make a gold and blue one, too!

1). Do steps 1-7 on this tutorial. (That will take you about 10 minutes.) Then...

2). Coil the string/loops around your wrist until...

3). ...you end up with little piles like this. (You can do all one color, but I liked the varying shades.)

4). Cut a 2-3 inch section of one of the loops to use as your "tie."

5). Tie two coils together with a simple double-knot.

6). And then I cut off the excess...

7). And continue on until it's the length you desire.

8). Adorable re-purposing of all. those. t-shirts.